oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
