I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
