What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
