so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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