im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
