He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize