I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
