p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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