If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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