Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you will always have a special place in my vag
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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