the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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