my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
