Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
