no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So much Jack, so little girl.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
