How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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