wanna go halves on a baby?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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