i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
