I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
