The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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