Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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