i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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