at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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