Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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