Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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