Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
