what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
