I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
