Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
