the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
vagina is talking i cant
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
