the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
