Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
