He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
