i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
