please come you make the beer taste better
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
