Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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