Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
