If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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