problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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