flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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