I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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