Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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