I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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