More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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