hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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