Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
