i barfeds in our rink
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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