Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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