hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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