you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Can I color on your dick again?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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