I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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