At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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