it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize