what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
