did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
