in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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