All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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