What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
