If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize