I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
