We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
