New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
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So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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