We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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